Women love the Cheesecake Factory
Don't let them lie to you
It doesn’t make sense that a fat woman would be upset about being taken to the Cheesecake Factory. It’s where she belongs.
Literally, it’s a restaurant designed to appeal to her type.
The entrees are ginormous. The meatloaf is bigger than the package of ground beef my mom would buy to make Hamburger Helper beef stroganoff (arguably the GOAT pasta) for my entire family back in the 1980s. And I’m pretty sure they give you even more potatoes than they do meatloaf.
(Nullus, btw, on the term beef stroganoff.)
I’ve never had the orange chicken, but I’d be willing to bet it’s right up there with the orange chicken you’d get at an authentic Chinese restaurant, if not better—and without the attitude.
It raises the question of whether the hoodrat who went viral on X f/k/a Twitter yesterday for refusing to get out of a soft ethnic guy’s car after he took her to the Cheesecake Factory had ever actually been to the Cheesecake Factory.
Maybe she was under the impression that it was an actual factory where they make cheesecakes and they were going there to get sandwiches from a vending machine in the break room.
Certainly, there’s worse things you can eat on a date than one of those Landshire Nike™ sandwiches, but obviously you wouldn’t take a girl to get one of those unless you’ve already had sex with her. You could end up in a situation like the guy in this video.
Supposedly, they had reservations at a more expensive restaurant, but they couldn’t be seated, because she was running late. Nothing about her hair and makeup suggests to me that she took that long to get ready, which makes me wonder what she was doing.
She may have gone live, on one of these apps, to a group of fellow perpetually alone black women of a certain age to announce that she was about to be taken, by the ethnic equivalent of a zaddy, to a restaurant that’s even more expensive than the Cheesecake Factory.
That would explain why she got so upset when she saw where they were going: she didn’t want to get embarrassed in front of her friends.
The decor in the Cheesecake Factory, I would argue, is nice enough that you could broadcast live from there and have people believe you were in a nice restaurant. Really, you wouldn’t be lying. But what’s the likelihood that anyone who follows this woman on social media wouldn’t recognize the Cheesecake Factory?
You can tell she wouldn’t have minded eating there, because she got upset when the guy started driving her home. She was probably hoping he would allow her to go off on him on TikTok and then take her inside to get a plate of fried shrimp and some spinach artichoke dip.
I’m glad he at least didn’t buy her anything. A lot of brothers wouldn’t have allowed her to post up in their car like that. Gucci Mane, for example, one kicked a woman from a moving vehicle. Not that I necessarily approve of that sort of thing. But it’s like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, in that there might not be a solution that doesn’t involve someone getting hurt.
The problem is that she was filming for TikTok the entire time. If he had grabbed her, rolled her off of her seat and onto the parking lot and peeled TF out, people would have seen it and probably tried to accuse him of misogynoir. He may have even been arrested, despite the fact that it was his car.
He might have also considered driving to a more expensive restaurant nearby, letting her get out of the car and then taking off before she could get back in. She doesn’t look agile enough to quickly hop back in the car. If she’s never eaten at a Cheesecake Factory before, it’s only because she lacks both the means to eat there herself and the looks that might get a guy to take her there. To think, this could have been her chance.