In 2016, rumors began to spread that Taylor Swift was secretly a member of the alt-right.
In memes, she was celebrated as the pinnacle of Aryan female beauty. On certain obscure message boards, people wondered where she stood on “the JQ.” Why was she so upset when Scooter Braun purchased her masters? She didn’t seem to be nearly as upset when they were owned by the people who sold them to Braun.
I didn’t want to believe it, because I purposely choose to believe only good things about white women. But now I’m starting to wonder.
It’s been nearly a month since Joe Biden dropped out of the presidential election, and Taylor Swift has yet to endorse Kamala Harris, who, if she were elected, God forbid, would be the first female president. What seems to be the hold up?
Many of her fans, known as Swifties, not to be confused with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, are calling on T-Swizzle to endorse Kamala. An article I skimmed didn’t get into their stance on the issues, but I suspect that for many of them the overturning of Roe v. Wade constituted an existential crisis.
What would they do if they were to get pregnant? The more attractive of them are getting pounded out three or four nights a week on Tinder dates with guys who claim to work in finance—guys who are like 5’10 and a half and claim to be 6’3. If you’re a girl, how would you even be able to tell the difference?
They might not be aware that the president can’t just unilaterally overturn a Supreme Court ruling. They went over that on Schoolhouse Rock, but that show’s been off the air since the mid ‘80s. No attractive woman even knows what that is.
I read somewhere that Biden could just add more seats to the court and stack them with liberals. But if that were true, why wouldn’t he just do it? He can’t run again. He might not even be alive next year. If I were in the same situation, I’d be doing all kinds of wild shit.
I’m sure racist white people would be none too pleased if Taylor Swift were to endorse Kamala Harris, though I’m not sure if it would make much of a difference. They’d stop playing her music on country radio stations, but I heard they don’t really play female artists on country radio anyway. Their program director is the late, great Sean Price. And T-Swizzle hasn’t made country music in years. She used them to get her career popping, the same way Post Malone used black people.
Similarly, Taylor Swift wouldn’t have to sweat black women boycotting her music if she doesn’t endorse Kamala, the way they tried to boycott R. Kelly. Is there a single black woman who listens to Taylor Swift? Even black women who grew up around white people, don’t know how to style their hair correctly and date white guys don’t listen to Taylor Swift. They listen to garbage black music and date white guys who think they’re black.
Kamala Harris would of course be an exception. While she claims to have smoked a blunt with 2Pac when she was in college, I can’t imagine that guy she’s married to having listened to a black song a day in his life. The blackest music he’s ever heard is “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison. I don’t buy for a minute that Kamala actually listened to that copy of Everybody Loves the Sunshine by Roy Ayers. There probably wasn’t even a record in that sleeve.
I’ll desire to make sweet, passionate love to Taylor Swift regardless, but I hope she does endorse Kamala Harris, for the same reason that I was the first person on the entire Internets to endorse Kamala, before Biden even dropped out of the race. Namely, because I see it as an opportunity for lulz. But also, I think she should be obligated to endorse a candidate.
Women are always complaining that the artists they like aren’t taken seriously. Part of that is because they aren’t political. Real musicians take a stance on the issues. Here is Taylor Swift’s opportunity to join their ranks.
Bro this is a masterpiece
This is definitely in your top 20 all time. Respect, Bol.