Where is Joe Budden?

I count on rappers to interpret the news for me

If Joe Budden already got beat up by the Wu-Tang Clan, Cesar Pina’s brother and probably any number of other people, he might as well take his chances with Diddy.

Worst case scenario, Diddy puts a shoe on him. What difference does it make? He’s already been assaulted so many times. He’s the Tina Turner of hip-hop podcasts.

Joe Budden has an especially strong chin, because he used to be on “white people drugs.” He was forced to go to rehab as a teenager, before his rap career even began.

If you’re forced to give up drugs before you’re old enough to vote, it’s because you’re mental. It can’t be because the drugs are causing health problems. When you’re young, you can do anything. Take it from someone who used to drink 20-plus cans of beer a day into my 30s.

People who do drugs, if they’re brokies, will hang around drug dealers despite not having the money to buy drugs. Sometimes the dealer will give them a freebie in exchange for doing a dance not unlike the one Samuel L Jackson did before his father popped a cap in his ass in the movie Jungle Fever, but sometimes the dealer will commit an act of violence like when that crackhead tried to sell O-Dog a bag or cheeseburgers in Menace II Society.

It was tragic what happened to that crackhead, but MC Eiht was right to not want to eat a cheeseburger made by a crackhead. If a guy won’t even wash his ass, what’s the likelihood that he prepares food safely? Those burgers may not have been brought up to the correct temperature.