This is no longer Joe Biden’s America. If black women want to show up to important events without combing their hair beforehand, you’re just gonna have to learn to accept it.
Simone Biles said as much on Instagram, after people had the sheer balls to criticize her for showing up to the Olympics looking like Buhweet. She won more gold medals than any other gymnast, and she looked like she could have sold more records than Elvis and the Beatles combined.
She said she had her hair done before the event, but it was very hot on the bus on the way over. The sweat must have diluted the chemicals that were holding her hair in place, as if she’d engaged in especially vigorous lovemaking.
It raises the question of why she was taking the bus to the Olympics. Could she not have gotten an Uber? She has a documentary on Netflix, in which she also cops a plea about refusing to style her hair. Did she not make any money from it? If she didn’t, I’d be curious to know who produced it, VladTV?
She’d almost be better off taking one of those Bird scooters. They’re all over the place here in the US. You’d think they’d have them in France. It seems like a very European concept, the fact that you don’t really own it. I’m not aware of any stereotypes having to do with black women’s sense of direction. Harriet Tubman was a black woman, and she could at least find her way north using astronomy. It would be tragic if Simone Biles couldn’t make it to the Olympics because she got stuck in a roundabout.
Flavor Flav put up the money for the girls water polo team, who I guess couldn’t afford the ball or whatever. To return the favor, they allowed him to flop around in the water with them. I’m glad he didn’t drown. Isn’t he like 70 years old? Between him and Hunter Biden, I’m beginning to wonder if crack doesn’t have a preservative effect on a man’s appearance.
Of course, girls water polo players have the benefit of being allowed to compete in those rubber caps, though I’m not sure why that would be necessary. They’re not really going anywhere in the pool to where aerodynamics would be an issue. If anyone could use a rubber cap, or perhaps a bonnet, it’s Simone Biles, if only to cover up what’s going on underneath.
One thing Kamala Harris might need to consider if and when she becomes president is a law that allows black women to go out in public wearing a bonnet without facing criticism. There’s already a law that black women can’t get fired for showing up to work with “natural hair,” so there’s legal precedent. If they can’t get it past the Supreme Court due to an opinion written by Clarence Thomas (a distinct possibility), it might be necessary to amend the constitution.
If, God forbid, Trump gets back in there, I’m not sure if he’ll be as amenable to such a law. He has a tendency to judge women on the basis of their looks. (That monster!) Before he ran for president, one of the main things he was known for was being disgusted with Rosie O’Donnell’s appearance. I’d suggest that we might consider having the most attractive black woman possible make a case for the Bonnet Act, perhaps someone from a rap video, but why would an attractive woman need such a law? Trump is dumb, but he’s not that dumb.
It’s often said that the Olympics are about more than just sports. This is at least one example of why that might actually be true. In the 1930s, Jesse Owens bravely took on the Nazis, in front of Adolf Hitler, and won. This week, in a similarly courageous act, Simone Biles stood up for a black woman’s right to leave the house looking a damn mess. I’m awed, if not surprised, by her strength.