When Kanye West threatened to go Death Con 3 on Jewish people, you knew there’d be consequences and repercussions, but who, other than Las Vegas oddsmakers, could have predicted that they’d come in the form of malignant dentistry?
Specifically, it’s been alleged, by no less an authority than Milo Yiannopoulos, that Kanye’s dentist has been selling him nitrous oxide, that Kanye is hooked on the stuff and that people have been stealing from him.
Supposedly, his Grammys, his children’s birth certificates and his mother’s death certificate (which he doesn’t really need) have all gone missing, and there’s concern that he might have permanent brain damage.
Worse, he could go broke. In addition to the amount he’s paying for nitrous oxide, he’s being charged money out the ass for dental work that he might not even need (they’ve been known to do that) and he’s also been paying the guy’s rent.
After famously losing $2 billion in a single day, Kanye is no longer the richest black man to ever walk the earth, ahead of Mansa Musa. He’s been living in an apartment in LA that doesn’t sound altogether different from some of the places where I used to live.
If only I had a girl with ginormous cans walking around naked at all times for no apparent reason. I’d never leave the house.
But I digress.
Milo Yiannopoulos is doing what he can to come to Kanye’s rescue, despite having been let go from the rapper’s staff. If he can save Kanye’s life, maybe he can get his job back.
That might be his best bet, at this point. He’s back on X f/k/a Twitter, apparently, but he’s still persona non grata in even not-so-polite society, after trying to make a case for man-boy love and throwing up a Nazi salute in a karaoke bar, as one does.
I’ll never forgive Milo for publishing a review of the all-female Ghostbusters reboot that inadvertently led to someone leaking Leslie Jones noodz. I saw them (curiosity got the best of me), and I don’t know that I’ll ever recover.
Yiannopoulos is having the California Board of Dentistry, presumably a legit organization, look into the dentist. They might need to check the levels of gas in his tanks and see if he has an explanation for any that’s gone missing. Do they track that?
He doesn’t look like the kind of guy you’d trust to work on your teeth. He’s got tattoos on his hands and dresses like he sells pre-owned luxury cars with expired warranties on commission. His general aura suggests that he’s made sweet, passionate love to guys in prison.
Usually, in a dentist’s office, a suspiciously well-built furrin woman actually cleans your teeth, and then the dentist comes in and tells you there was nothing wrong with your x-ray, because you’re not a tweaker. Still, I wouldn’t want this guy looking at my x-ray, because he doesn’t look like he’d know how to read it.
We know that Kanye is on nitrous oxide, because someone on X (the app) posted a photo of him in a nitrous oxide mask looking perhaps even crazier than he looked that time he went on the Alex Jones Show in a gimp mask with a butterfly net and a bottle of chocolate Yoo-hoo. If he didn’t get it from his dentist, where else could he have gotten it?
To paraphrase Wesley Snipes in the movie New Jack City, child gangbangers in Kanye’s native Chicago might have a way to get rocket launchers, thanks to Obama (not to mention free cell phones), but they don’t have access to dentistry equipment. This is bigger than Kanye West. This is big business. This is the American way.
When Kanye West went on a special four-hour-long now-removed episode of Drink Champs and claimed that certain groups were trying to have him killed, it turns out he may have been right. We can only hope that Milo Yiannopoulos is able to intervene before it’s too late.