How was A$AP Rocky not guilty?
Roc Nation has undermined our legal system
A$AP Rocky reportedly leapt into the arms of his loving wife Rihanna after the verdict was announced in his well-publicized shooting trial, and why wouldn’t he?
She was there every day supporting him, taking time out of her busy schedule of pretending to run a cosmetics company. She hasn’t released an album since Combat was alive, so that’ll give you an idea of how packed her schedule must be.
If A$AP had been sent to prison, would Rihanna have allowed him a brief glimpse of one of her cans in the visiting room like that guy Billy’s girlfriend in the movie Midnight Express? Would she have been willing to stash contraband in her snatch?
It’s her fault that he was in court in the first place. According to something or other that I read, possibly a post on X f/k/a Twitter, which, like the Joe Rogan podcast, has a fairly robust fact-checking system in place, the beef between A$AP Rocky and the guy he allegedly shot at stems from the fact that Rihanna was laughing a little bit too hard at the guy’s jokes, suggesting that she might be cheating on him.
I don’t have any way of knowing, but I suspect that Rihanna has never laughed at anything A$AP Rocky has ever said. Nothing about him seems intentionally funny to me.
He definitely wasn’t wrong to be concerned that his wife was laughing at another man’s jokes. I’m not married, but if I was, and I took my wife somewhere and she was laughing at another guy’s jokes as if he were Shane Gillis, I’d be on the phone with a lawyer of indeterminate ethnic origin working on strategies to make me look broke on paper, possibly something involving cryptocurrency, in case I needed to kick her to the curb.
I wouldn’t have shot at the guy, if only because there’s nowhere where you can shoot at someone these days and not have it caught on video. Things just aren’t what they used to be. I’m convinced that even most crimes in the ghetto are caught on video, and the reason most homicide cases in the black community go unsolved is because they’re just trolling us. Also, I suspect that the police are committing some of those crimes and blaming them on 12-year-old drill rappers.
It ended up not mattering to A$AP Rocky, because this trial was obviously fixed. The judge must be on the Roc Nation payroll along with OG Juan and Desiree Perez. Don’t let me find out that this was the same judge from the Tory Lanez trial.
How else to explain the fact that they had A$AP Rocky on video shooting at the guy and yet he was somehow acquitted? A$AP even admitted to shooting at the guy, at one point, but said it was a prop gun. Conveniently, the police searched his house and didn’t find any guns. Did he toss it in the river? If it was in fact a prop gun, wouldn’t he have wanted to keep it around so the police could verify?
Something else the prosecutors might have wanted to consider: Was it not a prop gun that killed Brandon Lee on the set of the movie The Crow? Were they not familiar with that incident, and if so, why are they allowed to be prosecutors?
At the beginning of the trial, A$AP was offered six months in jail to admit that that was him in that video. If he pleaded not guilty, he risked having to be locked up for 20 years. With the plea deal, he wouldn’t have had to spend much, if any time in jail. Paris Hilton used to get sentenced to six months in jail for drunk driving on the reg, and she’d never be in there for more than a few days. And that’s girls jail, which is both less dangerous and less overcrowded.
Never at any point did A$AP Rocky seem at all worried that he was about to be doing football numbers while his humorous weed carrier made sweet, passionate love to Rihanna. He seemed very relaxed in court, and it probably wasn’t because his wife was topping him off in the limousine on the way there. Do Caribbean women even do that? No, Jay-Z must have made a few phone calls.
Somewhere, Puff Daddy is in a jail cell with Sam Bankman-Fried and Luigi Mangione wondering why he couldn’t be extended the same courtesy.