When Russell Simmons fled to a country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the US to avoid charges of steamy non-con sex, as one does, he probably thought he’d gotten away scot-free.
If he’d known that his youngest daughter, at the tender age of 21, would end up dating a man 44 years her senior, would he have still left? Probably, yeah.
Still, it must be difficult to imagine a senior citizen teabagging his droopy, wrinkled ballsack into your young daughter’s mouth, decrepit gray pubes getting stuck between her teeth.
Russell Simmons probably paid a lot of money to have those teeth straightened.
It’s times like these when you really have to start questioning your life’s choices.
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