Iggy Azalea, modern day abolitionist

We stan a white queen

I was already a big fan of Iggy Azalea, for reasons that fall beyond the purview of this discussion. Now, I’m even more of a fan. I might even pull up some of her videos on YouTube.

Does she make more money if I watch them with the volume on? I’m feeling especially grateful, despite not being personally involved in the Tory Lanez-Megan Thee Stallion incident. I just hate to see a brother do a decade in prison on some ol’ bullshit.

You could kill a guy here in St. Louis and do less time than that—if they even bother to arrest you.

More than 60 people wrote letters to the judge, for the sentencing phase in Lanez’ trial, including his barber, who said he’s done a lot for people suffering from hair loss—male and female, I’m assuming.

I don’t have a problem believing that, and I’m impressed that he could find that many people to say something good about him. It should have been more of a factor in his sentencing than it was. Possibly, it should have prevented him from spending any time behind bars.

I’m much older than Lanez, and you couldn’t find 60 people to say something good about me if there was a way they could somehow personally benefit. Certainly, they wouldn’t write a letter to a judge pleading for leniency if I were wrongly convicted of shooting a woman in both of her feet, due to undue influence from Roc Nation.

One of the people who wrote a letter to the judge was Iggy Azalea. Hers, you would think, would be an especially valued opinion, both because she’s a fellow rapper and because she’s a white woman. People in law enforcement are more inclined to believe something if a white woman says it, which is part of the reason why they’re constantly calling the police on people.

I didn’t read the letter, but I skimmed an article about it. Basically, she said that his life shouldn’t be ruined just because he shot a woman in both of her feet—if he even did shoot a woman in both of her feet. (In a subsequent tweet, she clarified that her statement didn’t get into the facts of the case.) If Tory Lanez is suffering from male-pattern baldness in his early 30s, imagine how he might look when he gets out of prison. His career could be ruined.

Also, I wonder if judges take into account if someone is especially short. There’s a video of Tory Lanez rapping on Sway in the Morning. He gets up from his chair, and he’s the exact same height that he was sitting down. To me, any adult male 5’7” and under is like a child. I don’t have a problem with them not going to prison if they’re accused of having committed a crime, because I don’t believe that they pose a threat—the same way that women don’t really go to prison. Even the ones who do go to prison. Women’s prison doesn’t count as punishment, because it’s not dangerous.

Iggy Azalea has been trending on Twitter for the past couple of days, as if this were 2014. Many are upset that she would write a letter to the judge on Tory Lanez’ behalf. They’re convinced that he really did shoot Megan Thee Stallion in both of her feet, despite the fact that she was on stage twerking a mere matter of days later, and they probably think she appreciated what he did, as a rival female rapper. If he’d been allowed to go free, maybe he could have shot Ice Spice in the ass. (It’d be hard to miss.) Some of these girls really are sick in the head.

What does it say about hip-hop, on its supposed 50th birthday, that the only person in the entire community trying to keep black men out of prison is a white woman from Australia? You’ve got KRS-One in City Hall singing an ode to the police while, down in Atlanta, you’ve got Young Thug’s entire squad of weed carriers cooperating with the prosecution—which goes against everything they’re supposed to stand for. Even rappers who aren’t actively trying to get people locked up are singing about things that could potentially get someone thrown in jail.

At a time like this, we’re fortunate to have Iggy Azalea, and not just for the main reason you might appreciate a female rapper.