Did Angie Stone groom D'Angelo?

He was only 24, you sick fuck!

This past weekend, I was deeply saddened to hear about the death of neo-soul legend Angie Stone at the age of 63 in a tragic, Metallica-style tour bus accident, but I was actually more concerned about the “age-gap relationship” she was in with D’Angelo back in the 1990s.

With all due respect to Stone in particular, and dark-skinned, heavyset black women in general, with whom I generally enjoyed working when I was in fast food, D’Angelo couldn’t have been with her for her looks, raising the question of what she could have done to him to make him want to make sweet, passionate love to her and even go so far as to have a child with her.

Alas, there’s no way to bring her back to life to harangue her for taking advantage of nearly underage men (not even old enough to get a rental car without their mom co-signing). If that technology existed, we could have used it on Michelle Trachtenberg, and I wouldn’t even be writing this. I’d be too busy celebrating.